Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Very Worst Child Care Worker

I am the Very Worst Child Care Worker. On a daily basis I work with teenagers who have been abused, abandoned, neglected, witnessed horror and other atrocities. Who thought it would be a good idea to expose these kids to me? :)

I was recently asked how I am living out a calling to share His teaching. What does it look like? Ha. It almost makes me chuckle. Let me explain….

My real job is to “create positive change for responsible living.” That’s the organizations motto. How inspiring.

Story time. GO!

So last week this girl became “physically aggressive” towards another staff. Normally this behavior results in staff putting the child in a physical restraint. We decided not to for reasons that are not important. So as we stood next to staff counter as the girl then retreated to her room to continue her antics, we laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. As any good staff would do, I checked on her in her room to find her curled up in a ball on the floor because she was in the process of losing her mind. So as any other good staff would do, I walked away. :)

After a bit she came back out of her room and defiantly sat in a chair to further show us that she can do whatever she wants. At this point in a situation like this, I try to ask myelf what Jesus might do. So I approached the beast, knelt down at eye level (like Jesus probably did) and asked her as compassionately as I could, “what do you need so we can help you?”

It took her almost an hour to answer. And the answer came in the form of an "apology".

This girl. Brown eyes. 14 years old. Neglected by her drug addict mother so her father could have his way with her. She looked me in the eyes through her ridiculous screechy-sobby-pig-cat sounds and said, “I didn’t know what I needed. I don’t know what I need. I have never punched a staff! You guys are here to help me!” (duh)

I apparently got zapped by God to say something smart.

I looked at her and said, “Maybe what you needed in that moment was someone who you could punch in the face and wouldn’t hit you back.”

I can only describe the look she gave me by imagining the woman caught in adultery in John 8 when Jesus refused to condemn her.

To be honest, I felt proud. Proud that I didn’t get upset. Proud that I said something smart. Look at me go; I’m like Jesus! I make a difference. And at first I thought her was telling me that I was the wisest, gentlest and most gracious person she had ever met. GO ME!

Whoop.       De.          Freakin.          Doo.    

(Make sure you put those pauses in there... its important to transition the thought)

But a week later, there is a pit in my stomach when I think of that look on her face. It took me a week to realize that she had never experienced grace.

SHE HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED GRACE!!!

What more motivation do we need? I just met a 14 year old girl who needed a dose of God’s grace so desperately that she punched me in the face.

I think its kinda funny. She didn’t know what she needed and didn’t know how to ask, but God gave her what she needed anyway. I was just the dumb oaf with a fat lip and wild story.

I don’t want this story to be a heart warming, well-done and happy ending story… I want this to be a story that lights a fire underneath our hindquarters.

It was necessary for me to be in a place where there is great need.
It was necessary for me to put myself in the way of danger.
It was necessary for me to set aside everything I felt in that moment.

Perhaps the greater grace was that God found a way to put this blundering, selfish, d-bag in the right place at the right time for Him to do His work in spite of me.

Can we be intentional about putting ourselves in a position to extend grace to every person who is around us?

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