I am an emotional wolverine right now. I just want the world to go away and leave me alone. Maybe I need sleep. Maybe I need something else. Maybe I need to wrestle a bear. Maybe I need to go on a vacation. Maybe I need a friend. Maybe I need to change my attitude. Maybe I need to play guitar. Maybe I need to learn keytar. Maybe I need to watch my shows.
It all started with my least favorite subject in this world; insurance. I hate insurance stuff.
I made this comment to a friend today, “I would rather just die than have to deal with insurance stuff to get better.” Wow.
But seriously Andy, are you seriously letting a 2 hour insurance meeting ruin your day?
Yes. Don’t tell me what to do.
So one of the purposes of this blog is so that I can try to find some redemptive thought when I am in the middle of one my stupid rants. Ha. But here goes.
My first paragraph had the phrase “Maybe I need” in it 9 times. Really? Do I need any of those things? I mean… really? I just considered if I needed to wrestle a bear…
The answer is no. To all of those. I might want them, but do I need them? No.
So here is my attempt to start over.
I am an emotional wolverine right now. But I don’t need to know why. I don’t need any petty novelty to make me happy. I am determined to find goodness even in the middle of my crabby mood.
Do you do the same thing? Do you get flustered and then start scrambling to tuck little bits of happiness into wherever you can protect them?
I could write like 5 pages on what I am about to say but I am going to keep it to a sentence… When the crap hits the fan, it is the perfect time to stop and look to God. Not to mop the crap or to get you out of the room. But simply to know He is there and let it be.
“Sometimes there are no words. No clever quotes to neatly sum up what’s happened that day… sometimes the day just ends.” Aaron Hotchner
So here is the end. The day is over. I don’t have any brilliant thoughts or clever words. I am going to be tired and emotionally volatile. But I am going to be okay. I am okay. People I care about are okay. God is there. Here. With me. Probably laughing at me.
I think I just smiled for a second when I wrote that everything is okay.