So off I went on my long hike to take pictures and spend some time in the woods. I hit up Dillon State Park and then checked out Blackhand Gorge Nature Preserve out east of Newark. Most of the pictures on my facebook album came from Blackhand which actually turned out to be my favorite of the two places. Although I never actually made it to the gorge, I was able to take some good pictures, enjoy music on my iPod and come across some insights... as usual.
As as I was walking along in Blackhand, I began to get annoyed about the season. I realized that my natural inclination is to take pictures of nature; green plants, bright flowers and scurrying bugs and animals. However, winter in Ohio does not actually bring any of those things. So my eyes began to look at different things in the woods. The pictures of roots and the river began to saturate my mind and imagination which left me with several wonderful thoughts. For some reason or another, the least exciting one of these thoughts caught my attention and the goal of this post is to figure out why. This picture captured this thought.......
One disclaimer: I am 99% sure that anthropomorphism is the wrong word, but please allow me to commit a sort of emotional anthropomorphism on that log.
This is what I have thus far: decay creates room for growth. Honestly, that's all I got... but I want to explore more. Hmm... let me ponder for a second............
I must have walked past a hundred rotting logs like this but it wasn't until I reached this one three hours into my hike was I able to put a finger on the sentence "decay creates room for growth." That bright red rotting wood caught my eye, though one can hardly even call it wood. (I would venture to guess the woodpeckers don't exactly squawk to their friends about that log.) But this log. Why this one? To be honest, the first thing that came to my mind was that I identified with it. But its not that I feel like I am a rotting piece of mushy, gross, wet wood. But its that I empathize for the log (Out of context, that sounds like the stupidest comment in the world). So why?
I feel like this log should be using its last ounces of life to yell and shout and despair about the injustices of the cruelty of the decay that gnaws it away to nothing. It makes me angry to think that its "just a matter of time." Before long, the bugs and worms and moss and rain will complete their determined assault on the remaining life that the fibers of that wood struggles to hold on to. I just want Charlie Brown and Linus to come along, help the tree up, wrap a blanket around its roots and nurse it back to health. But the roots are gone. The bark is gone. The leaves are gone. The glory of a tall, beautiful tree is certainly gone. All that is left is the blood red insides laying bare, raw and exposed to the enemies.
Shouldn't the remaining life be shouting for and insisting that things be right once again? Shouldn't the remaining life be remembering the days when it stood tall, as a bold presence in the forest? Shouldn't the remaining life be angry that things had to turn out this way? Shouldn't the remaining life be bitter towards everyone else that stands strong around them?
Needless to say... my emotions got the best of me. Just just now as I write this, I noticed something which, up to this point, annoyed the photographer in me. The sun cast a shadow which, inmy opinion, took away from the picture. I first simply wanted the sun to totally shine through and create a magical Disney scene as it warmed all surfaces with its glow. But then I thought it would look more interesting and raw and real if the sun would go just away and we would be left with a gray (serene not depressing) scene in which we could just see a simple, peaceful forest.
And it is just now why I realize why I identify with the picture. I find myself, like the log, shouting out at the bright light to do what I want. I want it to come or to go. I want it to do this or do that. As I became more and more lost and trapped and in despair about the things I want, I simply lost sight of what was truly going on....
I knelt. In the woods. Moist rocks. Barren, hibernating trees. Fallen leaves. Crunching sticks. Cool, soft wind. But I missed it when I was there. And I missed it up until now..... The Light still shone on my back. While I groaned about decay I chose to focus on, the Giver of Life warmed my back. Literally.
Things grow. Things decay. Things decay. Things grow. But the sun still shines. The Light still warms. The Redeemer will redeem. Our hearts will be healed. Charlie Brown has and will come. He will. Maybe someday I will sit under that fallen tree as it stands tall and proud and loved in Heaven.
So there you have it. My heart still beats. Strange how a log can speak so much to me... although I have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't the log... but the Logos. Ooo.
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